Sunday, May 12, 2013

Expecting to be a MOTHER

Since I was little I had a list of names for my children.

The first names I can remember are Jamie Summers and Steve Austin....hahaha! There was Jasmine (before Aladdin), Natasha and Constantine. Even India and Asia. The only boy name I remember is Jackson, although I know there were others. I probably have them all written down somewhere in my journals because I always expected to be a mother when I grew up.

I lost hope in becoming a mother for a while as I grew older with no decent prospects. But then, like a miracle, I found my Mr. Wright. And being 37....ish we knew we wanted to start a family right a way. We found a nice home with room for those kids but they never came.

Infertility is a difficult thing. And although the doctors said it would never happen, I've heard many many stories of miracles.  And then there are those stories of faith of many women in the scriptures with the same challenges that all ended with children. For a few years I had faith that that miracle would happen. Yet every month I was devastated when it didn't. I was emotionally drained.

Today is Mother's Day and I could be sad...I have no children and my own mom passed away two years ago.  But today, I am happy. I have a wonderful husband who loves me and I love him, I have a terrific family, a loving father, countless memories and learning from my amazing mom and a testimony that I will see her and be with her again. I am not a mother but I get to play one every Wednesday with the neighborhood youth. Life is good!

I do have faith and hope that we will have children. It is possible through adoption...and hopefully that is something we can get working on soon. Life has thrown us a few curve balls we are still working through.

And if I have a chance to name them, my new list starts with Faith and Hope.



Sunday, November 11, 2012

Veteran's Day

I realize that many many many people fought, died and still fight for our country. But this post is about my Dad. My nephew posted a great tribute about my Dad (his Grandpa) on Facebook and I poached part of it because it was so well written.

"He fought in WWII for our country and others around the world.


I have always been fascinated with his generation. They emerged from the dust of the depression, fought for the freedom of many nations, secured the safety and liberty of our citizens and ensured the lasting grandeur...of this blessed and promised country.


He dug fox holes in frozen ground, marched countless miles across Europe, survived bombings and battles that killed all but a few. In his greatness he still, to this day, as only true american heros do, discounts the importants of his role in the war and the history of our nation. He always acknowledges the heros that fought around him but I am sure those heros looked to him for strength and comfort in trying times. HE is my American hero! Without him and his generation America would not be the great country it is today. I hope my generation and those to come can show the prestigious humility and courage that his so naturally did."
 

I love you Dad and thank you for your great sacrifice for this great country!

Sunday, September 23, 2012

wait...what?

I learned the popular Father Abraham song at girl's camp.  If you know it, feel free to sing along...

Father Abraham had seven sons.
Seven sons had father Abraham.
And he never laughed...wait...what? 

Seven?

The Bible says that Abraham had eight sons - Ishmael, Isaac, Midian, Jokshan, Shuah, Zimran, Medan and Ishbak. Why does the song say seven?




How can I sing this song? - this will bug me forever!

Friday, September 14, 2012

I will never forget!

We all have moments that are life changing. They can affect us positively or negatively. They can be major events or small private moments. I have a growing list of these moments, moments that have affected my life in some way. My plan is to write about each of them and how they affected me, good or bad. Hopefully, some day, I will get started on this project...but for now, it's just a list.

I call these events pivotal moments. I have also created a second list of pivotal people. Pivotal moments and people are what shape us, guide us and often alter our focus and goals. Some of these pivotal moments are my own personal moments but there are some that involve many people, even the whole nation.

One item on my list is 9/11 and as the anniversary just passed we have all heard and read about people reminiscing about not only that day but the weeks that followed. I believe those of us old enough to remember also review it in our own mind every year. We remember where we were, what we were doing, who we were with and how we felt as we experienced the horror of that event. And we have all been changed in some way because of it.

However, I have found it interesting that my emotions of that day have lessened. One of the moments of great distress for me was seeing people (real people, not stunt doubles) jumping out of the windows. I remember just sobbing uncontrollably. Today it still makes me sad and as I write tears are running down my face, but the emotions have faded even though the details are still so vivid.

I WILL NEVER FORGET!

I think pivotal people are different however...at least the positive pivotal people. Because with people I have found that details lessen more than the emotions. I wonder if it's because our interaction is not just one moment in time and therefore we have more emotion invested. Some of the details fade away but I don't forget why they are a pivotal person in my life and my love for them only continues to grow.

Naturally, I have been thinking of my mom as she passed away recently. And as details of events with her are not as clear and will continue to slip away with time, her spirit is stronger than ever in my memory. I feel her love and I am a better person because of her presence in my life. I sure miss her. She will always be a part of me.

I WILL NEVER FORGET!

Mr. Wright and I are blessed to have so many positive pivotal people in our lives...family and friends. We thank you all for the tremendous strength and love we have felt and continue to feel from you. Especially during our 4 (almost 5) years of marriage - filled with job losses, deaths of loved ones, health issues, infertility disappointment, etc - but also the happier events like our wedding, moving into our house and so on. We both feel very grateful to have lived our lives, not just these recent years but our whole lives, with WONDERFUL positive pivotal people surrounding us.

WE WILL NEVER FORGET!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Emma Arlene Swanson Jackson ~ October 13,1928 - May 26, 2011

Mom & Dad raised a family of 9 children. Because there is a 21 year age span from the oldest to youngest, a lot of our memories of growing up with Mom are different. We have all had different experiences, but we all learned the same life lessons. This is a collaboration of each of our memories of our mother.


Mom,

When you thought we weren’t looking…
You sewed our clothes on the treadle sewing machine late at night.
You mopped the kitchen floor on your hands and knees at night after we went to bed.
You weeded our garden & tended our yard in the early mornings.
You ironed & pressed our clothes, EVEN our sheets & pillowcases.
You taught us how to cook and even to sew on that old treadle machine, INCLUDING your sons.
You taught us the value of hard work.

When you thought we weren’t looking…
You made casseroles & brownies for ward members who were in need – through this we developed a preference for the brownie edge pieces that WE were given.
You worked late into the night doing decorations for Relief Society luncheons, helping set them up the night before, taking them down & cleaning up.
We saw you care for others:
-You took care of us after surgeries, coming to our homes to do so… even doing our laundry.
-We watched you thoughtfully care for great Aunt Blanche & Grandma.
You taught us how to give selfless service.

When you thought we weren’t looking…
You amazed us knowing everyone’s schedule without a day planner or blackberry.
Without the conveniences of today, dinner was ready when Dad came home & IMAGINE 9 kids without disposable diapers.
We saw you time Thanksgiving dinner, for so many, perfectly.
You knew all of our likes & dislikes and always remembered our favorites.
You taught us to pay attention to detail.

When you thought we weren’t looking…
You offered great wisdom & advice to us when we needed it.
You told us not to say things that were not nice, but listened anyway.
You said many times, “If you haven’t tried it, don’t knock it.” So you have to taste everything at least once.
We watched you turn the other cheek and never hold a grudge.
We learned not ALL inappropriate language consisted only of swear words.
You showed us to be grateful for what we have
You chose to be happy.
You taught by being a great example.

When you thought we weren’t looking…
We saw you pass the rolls at dinner… TOSSING one across the table.
We noticed the extra care you took to beautifully wrap our presents.
You relaxed at the end of the day by reading the paper & drinking your Pepsi in the living room, STARTING to watch Perry Mason or playing solitaire.
We enjoyed our holiday celebrations: the decorations, the dishes & special treats. We even celebrated St Patrick’s Day. You got us time and time again for April Fool’s . You made holidays fun.
You had the patience to teach even the grandkids how to enjoy playing cards and games.
We saw you in the stands at our track meets, ball games, concerts & dance recitals.
When we played Pinochle, we didn’t buy into your surprised expression as you laid down a double Pinchole.
We caught you, in your 60’s, on roller blades & in the living room doing cart wheels.
We heard you humming and singing, you hummed as you worked & you taught us many songs… we know “MARES EAT OATS”… and akiddlyivytoo.
We recognized your love for dancing… in the living room with Dad or after our Thanksgiving dinner.
You taught us how to have fun.

When you thought we weren’t looking…
You made sure that everything was equal, yet at the same time individual.
You remembered each or your grandchildren & great grandchildren with cards & gifts.
You always waited up at night until all of us were home, and didn’t get mad even when the police brought some of THEM home.
You made us feel like we were each your favorite child or grandchild, without making us jealous of the time you spent with the other kids.
You taught us the example of temple attendance. When Dad would get home from work you were dressed and ready to leave for the temple.
We caught you and Dad, many times, holding each other’s hand tenderly.
We felt your love for each of us.

When you thought we weren’t looking…
You sacrificed your NEEDS, a new dress, a pair of shoes, for the WANTS of your children. You showed us how to be selfless.
We saw your pain in your physical ailments and knew you were sacrificing for us to have you just a little longer.
You endured many difficult trials, for your family, with courage, dignity & strength. You truly endured to the end.
We love you Mom!



Sunday, February 20, 2011

like clockwork

There are three things I can count on every February.

Valentine's Day



Our Anniversary



& Mr. Wright getting sick.



These three things come like clockwork ever since our wedding day.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

the spirit of CHRISTMAS

Is it wrong that I always want the Christmas decorations in my house to look a certain way? I want a green tree with white lights, red ornaments and silver stars.




I want fake snow and pine boughs.




And when everything is up it's beautiful. At least to me.

However, I'm sure Mr. Wright just wants to pull his hair out every year. (shh...I know there is not a lot there...don't make me feel worse) This year I tried harder. We listened to Christmas music and I even let him make some of the decisions. Well, at least one.

But who am I kidding it's not just Christmas. We put the house back to "normal" last week. And by "we" I mean I made the decisions and told Mr. Wright what he was allowed to do. He packed the stuff up in the boxes (after I sorted them out) and carried them down to the storage. Then I put the "regular stuff" out again. I'm not quite sure where Mr. Wright was at that point. Probably wishing he could escape the insanity of me. I know it sounds like I am just mean and bossy. And maybe even crazy...but the truth is that I think I might be - just a LITTLE bit neurotic.

Somewhere between the crazy me of decorating for Christmas and the crazy me of putting the house back together, there was a lot of cherished memories with family, friends and each other. Memories of singing, laughing and playing. Memories that have reminded me that Christmas is about giving...of oneself, of time and of love.

I hope to be better at not only remembering that next year but doing that next year.

Yesterday - I just got around to reading this in the December New Era. And although Christmas is over - I still think it is important for me today. As I set new goals or my new year's resolutions - I hope to be a better giver throughout the year. A giver of my love, my time and myself!

Monday, December 27, 2010

summer project

I neglected to take a good before picture. This one shows the refurbished shed right in the middle of repairs. The rotted wall was removed and replaced. The trim was replaced and the whole foundation sealed to keep the water out.

Mr. Wright did his magic and added power, a new door and spot lights. And then we painted.

Next step was to fix the surrounding area.

With the help from a friend...

Voila!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

the fruits of our labors

I love home grown tomatoes. YUM!!!!

There is such thing as too many grape tomatoes.

The tomato cages lost the battle with those HUGE tomato plants.

We only had a few strawberries but that didn't stop us from enjoying our favorite new treat this summer - strawberries, sour cream and brown sugar.

And one pumpkin plant produces 14 pumpkins.

The goal for next year: Learn how to bottle tomatoes because I would love to have some garden tomatoes right now.

Monday, December 13, 2010

hosting a boutique



There are things in life we never expect to do EVER. I kind of have a list of things - you know like cruising around the world, having ten kids, being a movie star,...having a boutique at my house never even entered my mind. But if it had, it would have been on that list. So, here's to doing the unexpected!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Sunday, August 15, 2010

lessons learned




Evidently, the pumpkin and watermelon plants needed more space than we realized.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

It took us two years...but we did it!





WE HAVE A GARDEN...AND WE LOVE IT!

Monday, May 3, 2010

You decide...

Mister Darcy vs Mister Knightley

By far these two gentleman (and they are fine gentleman indeed) are my favorite characters of all time. I read a great blog entry today listing the pros and cons of each and I loved it. So make sure you read this before making your decision.

It turns out she makes a good case for both of them. But as for me, I am also going with Mr. Knightley because I too have always wanted to say "...now I may call you my Mister Knightley".

ps...Mr. Wright is not a fan of Jane Austen, so he doesn't have a clue that the reason I call him Mr. Wright and sometimes my Mr. Wright on our blog is because of "Emma". He thinks it's because he is my Mr. "Right"...and, well, that's true also.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Happy Birthday to Me!

Some of my favorite treats come nestled in a paper cup lined in a pretty box.


However, some of the nastiest flavors also come disguised as these yummy treats. Forrest Gump's momma was right, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." You never know if you will get the good chocolate or the nasty chocolate. For this reason I am a big fan of the insert thingy that sometimes come with chocolates to let you know what you will be enjoying and which ones to avoid.

The best solution to this problem is just create your own custom box at the candy store.

The next best thing is to go to Costco and buy the Milk Chocolate Caramel Macadamia Clusters. Every one of those clusters is yummy.


Better yet, have your husband surprise you on your birthday with a fancy chocolate box filled with those Caramel Macadamia Clusters from Costco. And as an extra touch have him make you an insert thingy so you know what you are enjoying and which ones to avoid. (by the way...none of them were avoided)


Thank you Mr. Wright for a fun and yummy birthday surprise!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Everything Edible


Chocolate shell, edible grass and chocolate covered oreos. It turned out pretty cute. :)

**taste bud disclaimer
The edible green apple grass is just awful! YUCK!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Exactly Equal

Easter brings with it many memories of coloring hard boiled eggs, the smell of vinegar, potato salad, Easter Egg hunts, deviled eggs, new dresses, The Atonement, Spring weather, plastic eggs filled with candy, a new beginning of sorts, spiced jelly beans...yum, flowers, hidden baskets, stuffed animals and personalized decorated chocolate eggs.

Back in the day the Easter Bunny (or should I say Mrs Easter Bunny) went to great lengths to make sure all of the Jackson kids had the same amount of candy. Exactly equal. I even suspect that she not only counted out each type of candy but also divided them out by color.


This information may help explain why I sort and eat M&M's and jelly beans by color. :)

But most importantly Easter is a celebration of the Resurrection of Christ and the gift He gave to each of us equally...exactly equal.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

two years, bread, love & sick...

Mr. Wright has been my Mr. Wright for two years now!

For our anniversary he gave me this nifty danish dough whisk.

You see I have recently learned how to make Artisan bread. When I brought home a sample for Mr. Wright to taste he loved it. The next day there was yeast and cornmeal in the cupboard. Did I mention he does most of the grocery shopping?

He loved it the first time I tried when it was too wet. He loved it the second time when it was too dry. We both loved it the third time (with the whisk) when it was just right!

Could the whisk have made all the difference?

My gift to him was a little fat book of love. I saw the idea online and it turned out so cute...take a look.





But for now all the bread and love in our whole house isn't helping my poor Mr. Wright feel any better. He's been sick for the past 3 days.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Snow anyone?

If it were up to me I would say - no more snow! At least in the valley. Let it snow in the mountains all it needs to. Now I'm not trying to get rid of the season all together or even ruin our water table. I would just prefer not having anymore snow at my house.

Mr. Wright on the other hand...although I don't think he enjoys the snow...secretly wishes for more snow. You see he is a fixer. Since we have been in our house he has found some great deals online. Two that come to mind are our snow blower and our edger. He cleaned them up and worked on them until they worked like a charm. ("worked on them" means he did something to get them from not running to running but I don't really know what...although he explained it to me in detail**sigh**I forgot.)

With the snow blower he also had to replace the blades. And because you can't just buy the blade separately, it created a challenge but he was up for it. He first went around to find some rubber. Now it had to be hard rubber and of a certain thickness. Well, Mr. Wright found it and he got it for free. He then had to drill out the rivets that held the old ones on, cut out the new blades and bolt them on again. What a great job he did but I still don't want it to snow.

The old rivets.

The damaged blades.

The new rubber.

The new blades.

The finished project.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

got Voles?

The poor vole gets no recognition.


Everyone has heard of the mole. But most people go their whole lives without ever so much as hearing about "voles," let alone practicing vole control.

Voles construct well-defined, visible tunnels, or runways at or near the surface, about two inches wide. Vole runways result from the voles eating the grass blades, as well as from the constant traffic of numerous little feet beating over the same path.


And if any lawn and garden pest can literally “beat a path” through the grass due to their sheer numbers, it’s the voles. Rabbits don’t have anything over this fertile rodent!

Voles can burrow into the root systems of landscaping shrubs and trees, They can damage flower bulbs and potatoes in the garden. But mainly voles eat the stems and blades of grass. And the runways they leave behind in the process make for an unsightly lawn.

Even in winter you're not home-free with respect to potential vole damage. Voles will use snow as cover as they attack your landscaping.


So, YES, wish us luck cause we got VOLES!!!!!

The above pictures are of our very own vole runways. Mr.Wright saw the signs and has already started the vole control. Another reason I love my Mr. Wright.

He can take care of all your pests too. (shameless plug for Wright Pest Control...)
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